32ish comedian wannabe. Can eat a burrito in under 3 minutes. Drank all your beer.

29th August 2014

Post with 9 notes

I’m finally, after 10 months of agony and anxiety, getting reimbursed for the things I lost in the flood. Of poo. Human poo. Raw human poo. I CAN’T STRESS ENOUGH HOW THAT WAS ALL HUMAN WASTE THAT DESTROYED ALL MY THINGS AND MY APARTMENT.

I got passed around to 4 claims adjusters and they all made ludicrous excuses as to why things were taking so long (the first woman assigned to me got fired. The guy after her got in a motorcycle accident. The woman after that…I have no idea what happened to her. And this last guy kept going on vacation, getting jury duty, and had surgery??) but the release of claim was finally signed and notarized. I’M ALMOST THERE. I’m just waiting the remaining four business days for the check to go through.

28th August 2014

Photo reblogged from LiarTownUSA with 1,966 notes

liartownusa:

Ghost Provokers

liartownusa:

Ghost Provokers

28th August 2014

Photoset reblogged from geek love with 414 notes

daysrunaway:

Tom Waits and Cassandra Peterson (better known as Elvira) in the cover art for Waits’ 1976 Masterpiece Small Change

Source: daysrunaway

21st August 2014

Post with 18 notes

I’ve lost control of my fantasies.

(HEIDI and JAMES SPADER FROM 1994 are doin’ stuff on the beach. The breeze is cool and the air is salty. Steve Winwood’s “Valerie” can be heard in the background. HEIDI is just about to take her bikini with neat pirate skulls printed all over it off when JAMES SPADER makes a face and sits up.)

JAMES SPADER: Hold on, hold on, wait a…”doin’ stuff”?

HEIDI: Yeah. You know…stuff. Sexy stuff.

SPADER: Exactly what kind of sexy stuff? 

HEIDI: …sex.

SPADER: I’m sorry, I had no idea I was 12 years old suddenly. And also a Catholic school girl.

HEIDI: You know I have problems describing this kind of thing in public.

SPADER: Public? You’re having a fantasy. You are fantasizing. Do you know what that means? That means “in the confines of your mind, not something you’re reciting to an assembly at a K-6 public school, you idiot”.

ADRIEN BRODY: (off camera) Hey can I come riding in on this stupid white horse to fight over you yet? This thing keeps farting and it smells like a county fair next door to the dump.

SPADER: Tell David Schwimmer not to butt in like that.

BRODY: HEY!

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20th August 2014

Photo reblogged from SHAQTASTIC with 52 notes

shaqinfrozen:

This frame does feature Shaquille O’Neal

shaqinfrozen:

This frame does feature Shaquille O’Neal

20th August 2014

Photo reblogged from LiarTownUSA with 200 notes

liartownusa:

Tipp Conrad, What Did You Just Say? conceived and written with @DJRotaryRachel

liartownusa:

Tipp Conrad, What Did You Just Say? conceived and written with @DJRotaryRachel

20th August 2014

Photo reblogged from The Irrepressible with 149,205 notes

donnellalexander:

donut-kun:

The proper response to street harassment


As you know, I usually don’t share uncredited video. Sometimes the message tho.

donnellalexander:

donut-kun:

The proper response to street harassment

As you know, I usually don’t share uncredited video.

Sometimes the message tho.

Source: grrlyman

19th August 2014

Photo with 5 notes

I illustrated a kid’s eBook! It’s available to buy soon. It’s the classic “Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” story, and it’s part of a series designed to teach kids both Spanish and Mandarin.

Expect incessant posts along the lines of “YOU GO BUY THIS” once it’s out.

I illustrated a kid’s eBook! It’s available to buy soon. It’s the classic “Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” story, and it’s part of a series designed to teach kids both Spanish and Mandarin.

Expect incessant posts along the lines of “YOU GO BUY THIS” once it’s out.

19th August 2014

Audio post reblogged from Success is Not an Option with 13 notes - Played 114 times

successisnotanoption:

I’m the Slime – Frank Zappa from Zappa in New York

On the passing of Don Pardo, I have to share this, one of my favoritemost Pardo performances. (Don comes in around 1:25 and it’s totally worth it just trust me.)

18th August 2014

Photo reblogged from Helen and me with 1,245 notes