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Have you ever written something on a bathroom stall?
No, but I have a compulsion to write “BUTT” in giant letters every time I encounter wet sand/snow.
Do you need to “break up” with a friend?
I did. And I did. …and the person in question took it exactly like Stacy in Wayne’s World.
More disappointment ahead!
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Heeeey, Heidi, it’s work. On your one day off a week. How ya doing? Listen, you know how you’re not at us right now on account of it’s YOUR ONLY DAY OFF IN A 6 DAY WORKWEEK? …we thought we’d call and pester you about coming in and covering for someone because we’re complete idiot jerks and we like to smell butts all day and pee on babies and show our wieners to your grandma and make puppies eat each other for sport and cancel Star Trek and let Hitler tickle people in inappropriate places and perform unnecessary surgery on the elderly and store oranges in the refrigerator and resurrect disco and drop anvils on everybody you love and change the national anthem to “Uptown Girl” and punch you in the boob for 8 hours straight and murder Betty White and replace all the world’s currencies with really big spiders.
TV intros: Sheep Dumpers (1990) and Austin Briggs, Child Detective (2004)
The State > everything else
GIVE-A THE POPE-A ALLA THE GRAPE-A JUICE-A!
Anonymous said: Keely Smith and The Food Fighters. Your Tumblr is making me happy today. Those are pretty random and minor things to cause this emotion, but hey, whatever works.
Keely Smith and The Food Fighters sounds like the kick assingest band in the whole world.
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