32ish comedian wannabe. Can eat a burrito in under 3 minutes. Drank all your beer.

30th September 2014

Photo with 6 notes

Any dudes want to party I picked up some sexy lingerie

Any dudes want to party I picked up some sexy lingerie

30th September 2014

Post with 2 notes

I like doing these stupid things. …they make me feel big.

Have you ever written something on a bathroom stall?
No, but I have a compulsion to write “BUTT” in giant letters every time I encounter wet sand/snow.

Do you need to “break up” with a friend?

I did. And I did. …and the person in question took it exactly like Stacy in Wayne’s World.

More disappointment ahead!

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30th September 2014

Post with 5 notes

Heeeey, Heidi, it’s work. On your one day off a week. How ya doing? Listen, you know how you’re not at us right now on account of it’s YOUR ONLY DAY OFF IN A 6 DAY WORKWEEK? …we thought we’d call and pester you about coming in and covering for someone because we’re complete idiot jerks and we like to smell butts all day and pee on babies and show our wieners to your grandma and make puppies eat each other for sport and cancel Star Trek and let Hitler tickle people in inappropriate places and perform unnecessary surgery on the elderly and store oranges in the refrigerator and resurrect disco and drop anvils on everybody you love and change the national anthem to “Uptown Girl” and punch you in the boob for 8 hours straight and murder Betty White and replace all the world’s currencies with really big spiders.

30th September 2014

Photoset reblogged from LiarTownUSA with 298 notes

liartownusa:

TV intros: Sheep Dumpers (1990) and Austin Briggs, Child Detective (2004)

26th September 2014

Photo reblogged from Big Name Small Penis with 1,987 notes

paulbunyansdick:

Friday’s.

paulbunyansdick:

Friday’s.

Source: televandalist

25th September 2014

Photoset reblogged from The State with 75 notes

lolwhyumadtho:

The State > everything else

GIVE-A THE POPE-A ALLA THE GRAPE-A JUICE-A!

Source: lolwhyumadtho

25th September 2014

Photoset reblogged from wenchy floozy moo. with 13 notes

24th September 2014

Link reblogged from Fuck Yeah Bob Odenkirk with 24 notes

Give Thanks! Bob Odenkirk’s First Comedy Album Out Nov. 25 →

!!!!!!

22nd September 2014

Question

Anonymous said: Keely Smith and The Food Fighters. Your Tumblr is making me happy today. Those are pretty random and minor things to cause this emotion, but hey, whatever works.

Keely Smith and The Food Fighters sounds like the kick assingest band in the whole world.

21st September 2014

Photo reblogged from Juicy Lucy's brother's girlfriend with 3,095 notes