May 2013
53 posts
Dear Lisa, As I write this, I am very sad. Our president has been overthrown and REPLACED BY THE BENEVOLENT GENERAL KRULL. ALL HAIL KRULL, AND HIS GLORIOUS NEW REGIME. SINCERELY, LITTLE GIRL
May 18th
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May 18th
10 notes
WatchWatch
mrshowwithbobanddavid: When the cast deems a sketch too boring, sometimes Paul and Jay overdub it on the commentary track, with fun results. This is the first of them. TELEPHONE TIME!!
May 18th
30 notes
May 18th
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May 17th
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May 15th
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My entire apartment complex plus my dad plus my best friend are all taking turns looking in on my pets while I’m gone IT’S SO SWEET. …the amount of alcohol I have to buy in return will bankrupt me.
May 15th
BRB GOIN’ TO HAWAII …the A material goes on twitter. This tumblr’s strictly C-.
May 15th
2 notes
Heidi and Carl Sagan's Further Adventures in Mild...
Carl: Consider the arrogance of such a tiny civilization on a pinprick of a planet in one of billions of billions of other pinprick planets inside billions and billions of galaxies assuming the universe was built for them. Heidi: Carl, did you get eggs went you went to the store? Carl: Oh. …uh…no. Heidi: God fucking damn it. AGAIN. Carl: Okay, consider the triviality of forgetting...
May 15th
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May 15th
810 notes
May 14th
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May 14th
283 notes
That moment when you’re showing the guy who’s going to house/pet-sit for you while you’re in Hawaii around the apartment and you kind of get that weird “I like you” vibe from him but you don’t like him back because he smells like he uses hippie deodorant and it gets awkward and your normally silent dog starts barking in the other room so as to create a...
May 14th
May 14th
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May 14th
326 notes
1 tag
May 13th
6 notes
STOP POSTING ABOUT THE RAGE YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SEXUALIZATION OF A DISNEY/PIXAR CHARACTER AND MAKE YOUR IMPRESSIONABLE DAUGHTERS WATCH MEL BROOKS MOVIES INSTEAD Well it worked for me. I never wanted to identify with princesses. I went for Madeleine Khan.
May 13th
3 notes
May 13th
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DON KNOTTS
May 12th
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May 12th
19 notes
ListenWhen the Kinks tell you to come dance, you...
May 12th
3 notes
May 11th
6 notes
Let’s get drunk and edit a cartoon in After Effects! I’ve replaced the sound with the audio from “Reservoir Dogs”. WILL MY CLIENT NOTICE?
May 11th
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May 11th
36 notes
doctorcolossalman: vriska: feferi: levicastiel: NO  FUCK YOU MOFFAT YOU AND YOUR EGO HAVE GONE TOO FAR WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK HAHAHAHAHAHA EXXXXCCCUUUUSEEEEE MEEEEEEE wow i didnt think it was possible for one man to singlehandedly ruin doctor who but WOW MOFFAT’s DONE IT!!!11 WWWHHHHHAT WHAT!!!!! WHHHHHHHHHAT!!!!!!!!!!! I have incredibly mixed feelings about this. I OFFERED TO...
May 10th
20,143 notes
May 10th
5 notes
Forget what I said about people being innately good. There are human beings out there right now who think Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Gimmie Three Steps” is a great song and there are a LOT of them.
May 10th
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May 10th
853 notes
May 10th
55,148 notes
May 10th
21,549 notes
May 10th
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May 9th
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May 9th
5 notes
1 tag
May 9th
Having “a day”. If a half bottle of wine and The Naked Gun can’t help me, then nothing can.
May 8th
3 notes
May 8th
7 notes
Heidi's Typical Day on Twitter
Wake up. Write something while still half asleep. Hit send. Regret immediately. Drink coffee. Write something before beginning actual work. Delete immediately. Hope nobody notices (they always do) See that favorite twitterer is on. Try to immediately think up joke to impress said twitterer. Fail miserably. …delete. Put something I’m not ashamed of/find sort of funny up. Wait for...
May 8th
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May 8th
18 notes
May 7th
570 notes
May 7th
May 6th
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May 6th
10 notes
May 6th
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May 6th
May 6th
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COOP, YOU REMIND ME TODAY OF A SMALL MEXICAN CHI-WOW-WOW.
May 5th
1 note
2 tags
May 5th
89 notes
If I find something funny, I laugh at it. I don’t try rationalizing why I can and someone else can’t, I don’t care what the subject matter is (why is one shocking and gruesome thing considered “okay” to laugh at and another not?), I don’t over-analyze, and I don’t care if I’m not supposed to find it funny because of my...
May 4th
3 notes
May 4th
2 notes
May 4th
20 notes