A 2011 Recap by Heidi

It’s not going to be very long because did you know that trying to memorize the lyrics to “We Didn’t Start the Fire” while binge drinking erases your memory?

I couldn’t remember who I was for most of the year, so I just assumed I was Whitney Houston. Once again, I am really sorry about the bathrooms I destroyed. And for trying to drill a hole into Kevin Costner’s skull to finally guide his soul to freedom.

Well. Anyway. What I could cobble together from my few remaining non-pop diva memories amounts to this: I attended a Doctor Who convention, and had a prom date with Peter Davison.

…so did my gums, apparently.

Later that night…

The walk of shame was extra weird, because hey, did you know a single pair of pants can jam a time rotor and people in 12th century England are less than forgiving if you ask for directions while wearing an oversized t-shirt that says “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor”?

…For the record, I never did succeed with getting those lyrics down. I just stopped mid-way, shrieked “UPTOWN GIRL” a few times, and passed out.

4 months ago  /  1 note